When describing something to a friend recently I concluded by saying,
‘it’s like Marmite, you’ll either love it or hate it,’
to which she replied,
But what if I just quite like Marmite?

This made me think about how black and white we are about things we love or hate and how much easier it is sometimes to focus on the negative and not least when it comes to self-love, when in reality there are many shades of grey in-between. I know in myself I have a tendency to be very self-critical and disparaging and I see this in many of my clients too, particularly weight loss clients.

In a recent Sunday Times article Nigella Lawson wrote about being sent a motivational quote from a friend. The quote was more of a question and it was this,

If you really loved yourself, what would you do?

She explores the pros and cons of using this as the main criteria in responding to the many demands and decisions we must make in life. The obvious cons being that nobody likes a bighead or a narcissist or someone who gets their own way all the time regardless of the needs of others!
She concludes that it is nevertheless a question which is always worth asking, but maybe more as a ‘kind inquiry’ which one might not act upon, but which is ‘as enlightening as it is validating.’ Thought provoking stuff indeed!

My view is that the same question asked in the context of diet, health and lifestyle takes on a totally different dimension with almost universal application and validation.
If you constantly focus on what you don’t like about yourself it limits your  belief in what you’re capable of and it can lead to self-sabotaging behaviour. More importantly it makes it so much harder to be loving and support of others.

I read a post from a lady in a Facebook group recently which read something like this,

‘I looked in the mirror last night and I didn’t like what I saw, I look old and I’m fat so I sat on the sofa, drank a whole bottle of Prosecco, a family sized bar of milk chocolate and I cried.

Well maybe she didn’t like what she saw but had she taken a deep breath and asked the question,

If you really loved yourself, what would you do?

Would she have reacted in this way? I suspect not. And, you know what, you don’t even have to love yourself; love and hate are two ends of a spectrum with lots of shades of grey in between. You could just settle for quite liking yourself, along with the Marmite!

In my Facebook group Unleash your younger self throughout the month of December I will be posting every day to encourage a more loving, positive and nurturing attitude to ourselves., so don’t miss out, request to join my group today.

 

 

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